Texas Treat

I recieved a press release today for PickleSickles and yes, it's what you would think...a frozen popsicle that tastes like a pickle. Made in Texas, this treat is, according to the PR company, super popular and even has health benefits. There's also a song devoted to this product on their site, PickleSickle.com. Wow.

Note: Don't the singing pickles look like condoms?

Giants!

"It's About Tynes." (My headline.)

"Third Tynes A Charm." (Jens' headline.)

I wonder what The Post will come up with.

Wacko Detox

Breaking up...it's hard when it's your significant other, but may be even harder when it's a friend. I've touched on this subject before (yawn...haven't we all), but I just got a press release for a new book called Wacko Detox 2008: Six Ways to Remove Problematic People from Your Life This Year, and it got me thinking.

From the release:
"Are the Wackos in your life bringing you down? Why not make this the year you get rid of them once and for all? Author Christina Eckert explains how ridding yourself of toxic acquaintances is your smartest goal yet."

When Eckert talks about tell-tale signs of a "Wacko," I will admit I fall into some of her stereotypes (I love a good grudge), but I think all this wacko talk is a way for the person who wants to end the relationship to feel better about themselves. In this me-me-me look-at-me self-absorbed society, it's fitting. But must we resort to calling another person a wacko just because we don't vibe with them as a friend anymore? People change (it's not a bad thing), lose touch, and sometimes don't feel the need or yearning to reconnect or continue with the friendship. It can be a big blowout that ended it or a slow fade, but sometimes friendships are irreparable...like a lot of romantic ones are. There doesn't have to be ill will, the nostalgia of the good times is still there, but it’s over, and it will never be like it once was. And that's OK.

Ouch! Holy! Dung!

John Kerry is supporting Obama. What a diss to his old running (and "great hair") mate John Edwards.

And why is the media calling John McCain's win in New Hampshire shocking? He won there last year. Now Giuliani winning there? That would be a sensational uproar similar to the one the former mayor caused at the Brooklyn Museum in 1999.

Bloody Hell

Sandwiched between two feminine hygiene commercials was a moment on "Celebrity Apprentice" when Gene Simmons mouths off some machismo remark about Ivanka going to tell her “sisters” what the men were up to. It was classic Simmons, but what disgusted me more were those commercials.

First up was Tampax. The commercial features young women in their home in Africa with a narrative about how x amount of girls miss school because they have their periods and have no protection. I’ve missed work because of crippling cramps, but thankfully have always had the proper barriers to both allow me to get my period and let me to function when Flow arrives. The ending slogan? “Use your period for good.”

Um…what?

While still wondering why Tampax just doesn’t donate a ton of tampons to these girls, another commercial similar in nature comes on. This time we see the African girls in school and it’s the brand Always conveying the same message. Their tagline? “Have a happy period.”

I’m all about the cause—no woman should have to go without at least a panty liner, but I don’t like how Tampax and Always incorporate this need into an ad to supposedly do good, yet it manipulates consumers. When I am in the store buying these products, it’s bad enough I have to choose between plastic and cardboard applicators. But now I need to think about using my time of the month for good? Isn’t it already good in its own bloody way? Besides, if people cannot afford or do not have the stores to acquire pads or tampons each month, we should be donating the washable, more practical cotton cloth re-usable pads. Makes more sense for the menses.

By the way, Nadia Comaneci looks fantastic.

No, I Don't Want To Call Now

Every weekend morning, while sitting half comatose drinking coffee and watching NY1 even through the repeat loops, The New York Times commercial comes on telling me to pick up the phone and order my Sunday Times. I'm a sucker for buying things seen on TV (Kinoki Foot Pads and Miracle Putty are on the way), but I am not interested in smug yuppies trying to push this tired and tarnished newspaper on me. As if they didn't learn from Jayson Blair, the pub is at it again.

From Guardian UK:

The Sunday Times inadvertently ran an article at the weekend that plagiarised material from a US magazine, it has emerged.

A piece headlined "50 Reasons Why You're Still Single" appeared in the Sunday Times Style magazine, bylined to the title's deputy editor, Camilla Long.

The feature was a humorous miscellany of men and women's irritating personal habits, such as "use the word babe" and "posed with your cat on your Facebook profile".

However, more than 15 of the Sunday Times' 50 entries were substantially similar to a list, "100 Reasons Why You're Still Single", that appeared in US pop culture Radar magazine last September.

The Style magazine editor, Tiffany Darke, confirmed that the magazine's deputy editor, Camilla Long, penned the piece.

Darke also confirmed that many of the items were the same as those included in Radar's list.

She told MediaGuardian.co.uk that Style magazine had decided to run a piece on the theme and invited contributions from friends, contacts and colleagues.

The Sunday Times' "50 Reasons..." piece had separate men's and women's lists with 25 items each, while Radar had a single list with 100 entries.

Darke said the items that were the same as on Radar's list came from an unnamed contributor and the magazine ran them without checking.

Some of the listed items the Sunday Times ran were adapted for the UK.

Number 58 on the Radar list, "Have taken more than one cell phone picture of your genitals", becomes on the Sunday Times men's list, at number 21, "Have ever taken more than one mobile-phone photograph of your genitals".

Similarly, number 78 in Radar - "Own all 24 volumes of Now That's What I Call Music!" - becomes in the Sunday Times women's list "Own 27 volumes of Now That's What I Call Music!".

The Radar magazine executive editor, Aaron Gell, said: "Although we never like to pile on when one of our fellow hacks gets in a jam, we'll take it as a sign we need to dust off our plans for Radar UK."

Compare and contrast: The Sunday Times' "50 Reasons Why You're Still Single" v Radar's "100 Reasons You're Still Single"
Radar: 5. Are only gay when you're drunk
Sunday Times: 16. Are only gay when you're drunk

Radar: 38. Refuse to remove your Bluetooth earpiece during sex
Sunday Times: 18. Refuse to remove your Bluetooth headset before making love

Radar: 52. Have more than zero stuffed animals on your bed
Sunday Times: 3. Have more than zero stuffed animals on your bed

Radar: 37. Prefer the "fist bump" when meeting strangers and always insist they "lock it in"
Sunday Times: 12. Prefer the "fist bump" when meeting strangers, and always insist they "lock it in"

Radar: 55. Think the energy crisis can be solved with crystals
Sunday Times: 19. Think the energy crisis can be solved with crystals

Radar: 58. Have taken more than one cell phone picture of your genitals
Sunday Times: 21. Have ever taken more than one mobile-phone photograph of your genitals

Radar: 78. Own all 24 volumes of Now That's What I Call Music!
Sunday Times: 22. Own 27 volumes of Now That's What I Call Music!

Radar: 13. Use emoticons in handwritten letters
Sunday Times: 18. Write in coloured ink and/or use smiley faces in handwritten letters

Radar: 70. Sold your forehead to goldenpalace.com
Sunday Times: 10. Have sold your forehead to an internet advertising agency

Radar: 8. Have a ferret on your shoulder
Sunday Times: 23. Have a stuffed parrot on your shoulder

Radar: 97. Phone in long-distance radio dedications
Sunday Times: 22. Have telephoned in a late-night radio dedication

Radar: 30. Own a calendar featuring babies dressed as cowboys
Sunday Times: 1. Have a calendar stuck to your wall with pictures of babies in plant pots

Radar: 47. Have a five o'clock shadow, on your ass
Sunday Times: 16. Have a five o'clock shadow

Radar: 99. Believe the mouth is self-cleaning
Sunday Times: 6. Believe that certain things are self-cleaning

Radar: 6. Have written poetry inside a Starbucks
Sunday Times: 8. Have written poetry in Costa Coffee

Radar: 57. Own a 60-inch flat-screen plasma television but sleep on a broken futon
Sunday Times: 5. Have nothing but a broken sandwich toaster, a camp bed and a 60in plasma screen in your flat

--------End Piece.

The Times should stick to the news...the hard news. Forget the flawed book lists and Sunday specials—they should spend time paying attention to the reporters who are supposed to be putting forth originial and reliable copy.

Reasons I Don’t Like This Warm Weather In January

-You add a little heat and everything smells worse. Winter’s chill keeps things crisp, frozen, nearly scentless.
-It’s too warm to wear gloves and I don’t mind having to hold the subway polls with this shield to protect my skin from touching the poll. No one wants subway hands.
-There were rollerbladers on the sidewalk…on Broadway…in NoHo…at 6:30pm.
-I can see sweatness on others.
-The birds and little woodland creatures get confused.
-I finally got my landlord to turn up the heat after freezing last week and now it’s hotter than David Duchovny in my apartment.
-People are riding bikes, but really they take the subway most of the way….during rush hour.
-Some aforementioned bike “riders” also decorate their “transportation” with stickers that say “Terrorists Ate My Homework,” carry a big drum (on way to protest rally, perhaps?), and sport a lick ’n’ stick tattoo of a happy looking bat on bicep…during rush hour. (Related to warm weather due to bike and bicep exposure.)
-I’ve heard others say, “Ahh…Al Gore was right!”