Reasons I Don’t Like This Warm Weather In January

-You add a little heat and everything smells worse. Winter’s chill keeps things crisp, frozen, nearly scentless.
-It’s too warm to wear gloves and I don’t mind having to hold the subway polls with this shield to protect my skin from touching the poll. No one wants subway hands.
-There were rollerbladers on the sidewalk…on Broadway…in NoHo…at 6:30pm.
-I can see sweatness on others.
-The birds and little woodland creatures get confused.
-I finally got my landlord to turn up the heat after freezing last week and now it’s hotter than David Duchovny in my apartment.
-People are riding bikes, but really they take the subway most of the way….during rush hour.
-Some aforementioned bike “riders” also decorate their “transportation” with stickers that say “Terrorists Ate My Homework,” carry a big drum (on way to protest rally, perhaps?), and sport a lick ’n’ stick tattoo of a happy looking bat on bicep…during rush hour. (Related to warm weather due to bike and bicep exposure.)
-I’ve heard others say, “Ahh…Al Gore was right!”